Quote:
My therapist loves to discuss my relationship with my mother. I haven’t exactly been very receptive, because I have no idea what she is after. Usually, I answer her questions with, “I don’t know.” I can’t give her anymore than that, since I have never really considered how this relationship has impacted my life, before. Argh! It’s making me feel very vulnerable and anxious.
Why is she exploring this?
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As you continue, you may have more words for your early experiences that will replace the "I don't know", and will be a marker of progress, learning.
We come to 'be' in that relationship with our mother or primary caregiver, so it is important to explore what that was like. It gives us valuable insight into who we are now and what our drives and fears and dreams and many other things are. It helps us explore how we communicate now, what our expectations and worries are in those communications and interactions with others.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable - including not knowing 'what she is after' - is part of therapy. By the same token, you can ask her directly 'what she is after' and why she focuses on what your relationship with your mother was and is like. Asking her may bring you relief and reassurance that will allow you to explore with her rather than resist.
if okay