Thank you so much for sharing and opening up to us here at PC. We are here to help one another and not judge.

I to am of strict faith. I am married to a deacon of the church. Long ago when I lost my virginity the very next man I was with I really wanted to be "WITH". My cousin stopped me because I was drinking at the time. But she couldn't stop me forever. Eventually this guy and I ended up going all the way. When I met my next boyfriend, which is now my husband, it was all I could do to stay out of the sack. I managed for a while.

I think it is kinda like watching programs on tv. Once your mind is able to wrap it's self around something then there is a better understanding even if it is of sinful things. Then you kinda get accustomed to see the same thing and then the next new terrible thing comes on tv and you want to see that. ex. first you watch CSI then soon you watch Criminal Minds, then you don't mind watching vampire stuff. But where sex is concerned you don't just watch t.v. you feel it, you live it, you partake in it, and it no longer has that new experience to it. You know there is more, bigger and better feelings available. When you are with a guy it kinda triggers that need for wanting to know and experience. It is extremely hard to walk away from. It can be done but my goodness does it take an enormous amount of effort. I agree you do not want to be remembered as "easy". You don't want to give the one you settle down with some day a huge number for the count of people you have been with. Respect that purity and don't hesitate to let the guy you are hanging out with know you are not interested in sex you want to wait. If he doesn't respect that then he's not the kind of guy to be hanging out with. More guys then you would think want to be pure. It is only when they think that not having to be is an option that it becomes an option. Once you take sex out of the equation you can really have some fun and get to know the person for who they are not for the person they think they have to be to get you into bed w/ them.

Be careful w/ this new fella. If you play sometimes you pay. You may not intend for things to go as far as they do and it is hard to say no or stop when your body does not say the same thing. Don't even start down that path. Date, go out for a meal, but do not continue to temp your emotions and his to. Your body's needs are great and hard to manage. God made us to be fruitful and multiply. That is all your body knows when it comes to lust. You mind knows different and natures drive to procreate is huge. Don't play with that. Good luck my prayers will be with you.