That helps enormously, and don't worry at all about TMI. You did just fine.

Initially, it sounds to me like you have a high libido, but given that you consciously don't want to do this and you mentioned specifically the word "fix," I almost wonder if it's something close to the lines of sexual addiction...but I'm also hesitant to make that suggestion. Webmd lists a lot of symptoms that don't sound like what you describe (and actually sounds rather harsh, honestly...I don't approve of the writer's language). I was going to include the link, but I truly think the writer's language is just overly harsh...I decided to omit it on an edit.

But please, I don't think anyone's going to call you a ***** or easy. I would tell you the fact that you cognitively recognize this as something you don't want but cannot help to do speaks to a set of morals that I think doesn't fit someone with either of those labels, and someone trapped in something they can't truly control. I don't think this is entirely "you," so to speak. You're not a bad person because of this. Please don't think that.

As far as what to do, if I were you, I would try to speak to a therapist. They can offer more help than we can due to their training, and I think they'll have the resources you need to get some help. Until then, you might want to make some effort to try to distance yourself from potential situations that could lead to intimacy that you don't wish to have.

And, of course, please do be safe?

My best,
Harley

PS: I am hesitant to do it due to the dubious validity, but I decided to include the Wikipedia link. I feel like WebMD, which I think is more valid, really needs to reign in one of their writers. It sounds more judgmental than helpful, which is unfortunate. Specifically on the link, take a look at Carnes' definition. Does that sound like you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_...ostic_criteria