Hi LMO,

That's great about the coach. I only recently got diagnosed with ADD, but most definitely I have had it for a long time. I don't have a coach but have been seeing my therapist for many years on and off and I plan to start making weekly lists with her. I would classify her style as a coaching supportive one, although she is a certified clinical social worker. My husband has never been impatient with me, perhaps because I told him 3 weeks after we got married about 11 yrs ago that he could never yell at me. He really would love to take me in hand and direct my life because he has no self esteem about himself and thinks I have all the promise in the family. I think we are equal and have completely resisted his pushing, sometimes very angrily. I never yelled at anyone before my husband and never expressed loss of patience with anyone before him. Such is marriage I suppose. I constantly remind myself that he and my daughter are my most beloved in the world. It helps. Because my husband is so underemployed, he has too much time to think and he is very obsessive and can be very compulsive in a non productive way. I had to call a halt to all home remodeling because he would do things over and over and we couldn't afford it. He is wonderful with cooking and cleaning and childcare. I have to do all the paperwork and that only becomes a problem when I get depressed. We both are suited to and interested in different things and mostly that works out.
I do have to keep telling him not to try and direct me. I was single into my 30's and got far with school and work without him.
I took him to my therapist because I was concerned about the possible effects to my daughter from my depression. She thinks my daughter is fine. She really thought my husband was great; she liked how he looked at me and listened to me in her office. She understands he doesn't always "hear" me at home. She also thought my daughter was doing fine, and thatI need not to communicate my anxieties to her. I had to agree.
I have to think spouses coaching other ADD spouses won't work out. I felt like I was being treated like a child at times when my husband was trying to direct me. At other times I appreciated his supportive remarks-like telling me I get anxious when I feel physically sick. He was very right. I think physical sickness makes me feel helpless and helplessness was a big part of my childhood.
I could go on but I will stop and read your posting again to see if I answered it_-lol.

meta