I regret entering treatment I'm in AA 55 days clean and now I can't be primal anymore.

People were telling me how good I used to be and how I could've sold those songs. I won the accolades of the areas top musicians but the head honchos in my town refused to listen bcause I'm weird but not as arrogant as the other people who they respect

Please kill me?

WOULD cutting be a relapse?