admitting that you need some serious help is the first step..acting on it is the hard part..the people here are great at listening and at giving advice but sometimes that can only go so far..It sounds as if you need to heed the advice that was given to you early and either call a hotline or seek a therapist where you can talk to someone one on one. I have a cat myself as well as many other pets..but my cat is my baby and we too share a special bond..I can't imagine life without him..but I believe that your depression over your loss of your loved one has triggered something deeper within you and I think you need help to control it before it spins so far out of control for you that you lose sight of yourself. You came here for help..we are always here to listen..but now it is time for you to step up even further and seek the help that you have so openly admitted that you think you need. You mentioned that you have no friends..have you thought about seeking a support group of some kind..I am sure there are some out there..You never know until you check into it..that way you can talk about your feelings AND meet people at the same time who are dealing with the same issue that you are..this could be greatly benefitial to you. I don't know if they actually have loss of pet support groups..but you never know until you look and see..its worth a shot..and if anything talk to SOMEONE face to face or to a hotline..Good luck to you..Stay safe and again I am sorry for your loss.