Sky made some excellent points there.

my thoughts are with you Pmarie, as i know the harshness of it all. You have done the right thing by admitting what happened, one of THE biggest steps in recovery is accepting it, and by coming on here and saying it out loud takes a huge amount of courage and bravery, and i think you'll find things will seem ever so slightly easier now you've spoken out about it.
Well done, i am proud of you for that. it is really hard.

I just want you to know you have vast amounts of support here for you from people who have experienced similar traumas.

Good luck with it all, and pm me if you feel you need a chat.

Take care of yourself and yourself only through this harsh stage. and as Sky said, you are now ready to face it, your body and mind are strong, strong enough to deal with this now. just go with it as you are.