thank you all for your support. it does help knowing that i'm not alone. as for my feelings about college....i wasn't even completely sure i wanted to go in the first place, and now 4 years later, i'm so sick and tired of it all. i hate it...i mean, yeah, classes are interesting, but i just want it to be over, and i know it will be soon, but then there's all the fun stuff i have to do for it to be over. and then there's the stress of if i don't pass something, i won't be able to graduate....i'm not really sure what i want to do when i'm done. i know i want to work with children, but that's as far as i have gotten. once i graduate, i just have to try some things out and see how i like them. and as of right now, i'm not planning on going to grad school for a few reasons. 1-i have no interest and/or desire to go. 2- i don't know what i want to do. 3-no money. i'm not saying i'll never go, but i'm just gonna see where the road takes me. part of me feels like everyone has their entire life planned out, and i'm the only loser who doesn't. but the main reason why i feel so out of place is that i just feel like everyone is staring at me, criticizing me, and my every movement. i know it sounds rediculous, but i'm just so self-conscious of myself. that's also why i haven't gone to see the campus counselor. i'm afraid that he, or anyone else who knows i went, or see's me going there is gonna think that i'm some kind of freak or something. i know...it's stupid, and i would never think that about anyone else....joining this took a lot of guts...i'm just so sick and tired of feeling this way, that i took a risk. 1-no one will ever know who i actually am. 2-from what i read from before i joined, everyone seemed so accepting of everyone and wasn't critical. so thank you everyone. it means a lot to me. :-)

"I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I'll stop missing you." ~Anonymous