The problem is that I am also going to have problems with females also. As far as attachment goes, if I attach to a male and get hurt, I project anger all over the place but most of the anger gets turned inward because I truly blame myself. If this happens with a female, for some reason my anger would be directed outward, I would be too defensive to own anything, and I would be in a power struggle and be unable to disengage. Again, this makes NO sense. But thinking of having a female results in me feeling very vulnerable and it isn't something I want to or can consider. You think after what just happened that I wouldn't trust a man, and truth be told I don't know if I can do that either. Yeah, I'll ask those questions, thanks for the help.

I can see it now:

Me: Hi, I'm Antimatter. I have BPD, MDD, ADHD, am dissociative, and PTSD . . .
Therapist: Click. Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. . .