Hi. I am new to the forum. I registered in hopes of finding people that were going through similar things and could help me figure out how I got here. I will try to make my story as brief as possible.

I have always been one to handle stress well. Lots of stress. Bad marriage (first), single mom, getting up at 3:30am to commute 150 miles a day (round trip) to a job that I am very greatful to have. My life has always been fast paced and stressful - but I was surviving well.

Fast forward to September 2008. My husband, who had quintuple heart bypass surgery in 2004 at the age of 42, needed an operation to open some blockages in his leg. September 16, 2008 he went into the hospital for a cardiac cath as a pre op procedure for his leg operation. Cath went well. Heart was fine to have the additional surgery. Leaving the hospital that evening I get a phone call from our local Sheriff's office telling me that mt youngest son (20) had been arrested for possession of a controlled substance. Needless to say I was shocked, furious and devastated all at then same time. I retained an attorney for him and moved through the system to try to minimize the damage that he had inflicted on himself that would affect the rest of his life.

In late November my husband and I went out for a day trip. Everything appeared to be fine that morning. We had only been in the car 10 minutes when my husband began coughing and gasping to breath. He was able to pull the car over to a side street. He puts the car in park and says he has to get out to get some air. As soon as he steps out of the car he passes out in the middle of the road. I was scares to death. Didn't know if he was alive or dead. Called 911. They came. Took him to the hospital. He had a Pumonary Embolis (blood clot) in his lung. No doubt this came from the cardiac cath procedure in September (he had decided to put the leg surgery off until the holidays were over). He survived the blood clot and came home on Coumadin (a blood thinner) until it was dissolved. The Coumadin was making his blood to thin at times so the doctor had to play with the doses until they got it right. Just before Christmas 2008 his blood was very thin. The docs told him to hold two days on his Coumadin. He did. On December 28, 2008 he had a stroke (caused from the Coumadin hold).

Again, he survived the stroke, spent 13 days in the hospital and 9 in rehab. He regained about 75 percent of what he lost (entire right side). The stroke, however, left him permanently disabled. He had no retirement thru his job so he ended up having to go on social security disability. Financially strapped with a $3400 mortgage payment (which we could afford when we bought the house) we ended up having to walk away from our home and file for bankruptcy protection. Behind these scenes I am preparing for my 20 year old son to go to jail for 4 months of a 3 year sentence for possession of drugs. We found a rental and moved out of our home in February 2009.

Our bankruptcy attorney was a complete idiot. Cost me $10k in addition to my retainer and delayed our bankruptcy discharge for a year. Long long story - but the short version was that he didn't file some forms that he was supposed to file in the beginning and twice we went to court and he brought someone else's file instead of ours. There were other things but I won't bore you with those details.

Our bankruptcy finally discharged in January 2010. They foreclosed on my house in February.

My son did his 4 months in jail. Got out and now struggles with trying to find a job with a felony record. He is also being treated for Bipolar - so his employment issues go deeper than his criminal record. He is now 24 and still struggling.

Fast forward to 2012. We we able to buy a home this year. We began that process in February. We signed a contract with a builder and watched the house as it was being built. In May my father became very ill (he had very bad diabetes and other health issues). After a long suffering struggle he passed away on June 22, 2012.

I thought that I was handling everything including my fathers death relatively well. I guess I wasn't. The week that we closed on our house ( also extremely stressful) I had some sort of a melt down and ended up at the doctor. He gave me Klonipin for anxiety which helped. But then is became depressed. I cry over absolutely nothing. I don't want to go anywhere. Do anything. See or talk to anybody. I just want to sleep. My doctor has put me on a. SSRI (Viibrid) with the Klonipin. Don't know if that will work or not. I have had several melt downs recently that have kept me out of work for days and weeks at a time. I don't know how to handle this. I don't know why this is happening to me. I just want to feel normal again.

Hoping someone out there could help me understand.