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i remember your previously stating a while back that you can't do music sober. it seems you are on the fence again(?). i guess it all boils down to this...how was your life using other than your music? was it working for you if you live that way?
it's very difficult newly sober to see the upside sometimes. we have major resentments, anger and personality changes. i'm unsure why you went into treatment. is it because you want to stop using? if so you will benefit from not dwelling in the "what ifs". it's like spinning your wheels.
maybe i misread your post. if so can u clarify?
and imo cutting just adds a new problem.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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