ispillcoffee, i enjoyed reading your post. it's wonderful that you now have the clarity to live your life clean and sober. if it were me i'd print out my post-yours-and reread it often each day. when doubt creeps in it can remind you why you changed your life 28 days ago. it's hope personified. 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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