i remember your previously stating a while back that you can't do music sober. it seems you are on the fence again(?). i guess it all boils down to this...how was your life using other than your music? was it working for you if you live that way?
it's very difficult newly sober to see the upside sometimes. we have major resentments, anger and personality changes. i'm unsure why you went into treatment. is it because you want to stop using? if so you will benefit from not dwelling in the "what ifs". it's like spinning your wheels.
maybe i misread your post. if so can u clarify?
and imo cutting just adds a new problem.