SwayintheBreeze,

I haven't agreed with BPD's (or myself) as being manipulative before. Just the word makes me resentful with the world and I want to scream!! But I don't. I take a deep breath and hold that anger down within myself again. That's a bad habit of mine ~ always holding my true emotions down deep inside.

In those times when my bf is looking at another, I cannot describe how badly I want to bawl him out and pulverize him for looking. It's REALLY bad!! I hold all of those emotions inside of me though, and turn them against myself while I also push my bf away emotionally.

I do see a T, but I'm sure that he doesn't understand how intense I feel in times like these. Sorry that you've struggled with it too, but it's nice to know that someone understands the depth of my emotions!