There are 2 reasons for postiong this today, 1) to let others have an insight into my life, and 2) to look at and be grateful for the positives in my life. there arent many of them, i will admit, but im not writing that list because im depressed. i used to be, it used to get to me so much. but no more. today i am feeling positive, more so now i have posted that list, but more so because today i am looking to the future, and another reason for doing list is because im cleansing my mind, im going through all the events and filing them, leaving them where they belong...in the past. apart from the abuse issue, which i am dealing with now.

i am looking to the future, and i know, if i work hard for what i believe in (starting my musical career, and one day raising a family of my own) i will achieve them, they are not out of reach. who was it that once said "nothing is impossible".

i truly believe these events have happened for a reason, and it was the positives that kept me going (i wouldnt be here today without them) and i find the positives withink some of the negatives within that list, for instance, i can proudly say ive been in love, i knwo what its like. i know how to grieve, and i am very strong. so there are positives in everything. the biggest positive would have to be (as ive said in other posts) the fact that all these things have given me so much material and emotion for my musical career. theres no bigger postive than that, next to it making me so strong for the rest of my life.

who can argue with that