catrules, my fellow Bunnymen fan ... Reach out and vent away. No lectures. I have that "have to" thing too. Honestly, the trouble it causes... sheesh. I'm glad you are reaching out and know how hard that can be to do. And how confident we can feel and then have the BP go and rip it right out from under us. So very much there with you. When you say, "How can my brain do that to me over and over again."... so true! So frustrating! I'm kicking myself right now over such a thing where part of my brain (a BIG part!) was warning me I was overreaching. So what'd I go and do? It was even telling me, you know?! And still. And to top it off, being overconfident, "Well, yeah, might be a bit destabilizing", minimizing it, just to have it come back and say, "Oh yeah? Watch this!" It is so super frustrating to keep thinking, "when will I ever learn?!" Try not to go too hard on yourself about it. (Do I look hypocritical in this statement? Lol.)

Grrrr, BP! Grrrr!

Hope you are feeling better soon, catrules, and don't hesitate to take to the keyboard for whatever it takes to get you through it. 'Cause you know we're all for that!!!