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Sep 04, 2012, 04:00 AM
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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Hi Jellybean ! Anyone who has been a victim of verbal abuse DOES tend to live in their head as a means to escape the abuse. People who have never been abused like that don't have a clue what it's like. I know all about that, as I was married to an abuser for many many years, and I lived totally within my head until it became a bad neighborhood and I had to stay out of it. 
That seems to be the only place of refuge for victims of verbal abuse. There's no other place to go when you're being yelled at and called names, and accused of things you never did. So while the person is yelling, you retreat to your mind so you can't hear them. They can yell for hours on end, but you just cannot hear them. That's the way it was for me,anyway.
But there comes a time when you HAVE to come out --- you have to stopo living there because society is there -- and in order to live in society, you have to give up your "retreat" and live in the REAL world. That means either getting away from the abuser or learning how to listen when you're with society and acting normal, and then going back into your "retreat" when you go back to your abuser.  For me, I left my abuser for GOOD and stay outside of my mind for good. I no longer went into my mind, as it just wasn't a good place to be anymore.
I also went into therapy(that was years beore) but it really worked with a new therapist. Many other therapist just didn't work for me. This one really 'clicked" and we made great progress.
I wish you the very best JellyBean. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee
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