Fetlife won't leave a paper trail as far as I know, me and bf both have profiles with pur real pictures up, you can't view any profiles or anyhing without an account. And if someone you know has an account there then they aren't going to call you out for it because they have something they don't want called out either I have googled mine and bf's profile names from there to double check and nothing shows up, even when I add Fetlife to the search along with our usernames. I think you are safe with Fetlife for sure, they are pretty hush hush and realize most people on that site don't want everyone to know their business because they have families and careers.