I hate myself and what I've done.

I posted recently about my general situation but it is specifically my broken relationship that is tearing me up.

My boyfriend couldn't handle my depression, mood swings and resistance to getting better. I think it was all beginning to trigger his own depression. He told me he couldn't do it anymore, the relationship was over, I went completely crazy. Crying hysterically, shouting, feeling like I wanted to die.
I feel so humiliated. We have talked since, I have apologised repeatedly and it is safe to say that there is no hope of us being together again. I completely understand why he can't be with me and I respect that decision.

I feel completely distraught for what was happened. It's my fault, nobody needs to tell me that. We used to be so happy together, we had talked about the future together and I truly felt that he loved me.

I really hate myself for what I have done, I've been weak and I don't know how I can go on with this feeling.
I know I've acted like an idiot, I was scarily out of control. How do