Yeah so I got severely triggered again...I got in a little bit of an argument with my brother and his girlfriend(it really wasn't even a big deal(or at least it didn't have to be) so I don't even know that its what triggered it.

So yeah don't know what happened I just started taking everything personally and wouldn't drop whatever it was...from my perspective I thought they where talking crap to me but they were more trying to give me advice of something and so I sort of sat there and and got mad which bothered them and they probably thought I was being a jerk. But then one of them said something and I started hitting myself in the head and they both came towards me to try and stop me and I guess I didn't want to be stopped and started kinda trying to fight them off(it was weird I knew it was just my brother and his girlfriend and we typically get along just fine when we hang out but I was reacting like they were attacking me or something...luckily my brother is much stronger then me so he was able to restrain me before I caused any real damage....but yeah we haven't really talked about it and I really don't even know what the hell I would even say about it.

Oh and the whole reason I was over there was my mom and her boyfriend were arguing and it was really upsetting my youngest brother and that time I ended up almost breaking a door with my elbow because her boyfriend was trying to close it in my face...because I was telling him not to yell at my brother it seemed inappropriate for him to be yelling well and yelling in general is pretty much unbearable to me hearing it anyways. Oh and I've gotten drunk like 3 days in a row which didn't really help things. So yeah I am sore from both of those incidents and apparently I haven't been eating enough lately and I know I haven't been sleeping enough. There are a lot more things bothering me to but it would take forever to describe everything...the point is I have no idea what I am supposed to do with that. I mean half the time I cannot even tell if I am getting triggered until it reaches the point where I have no control over it. I mean I could injure myself, possibly others and cause property damage I can't afford since I have more debt than cash...so it really sucks.