This sucks.

I came back to treatment (after being away since 1994) because the day job that I have (and felt like it was killing my creativity) was in danger.

I was hypomanic and unable to focus on my work.

So, in an attempt to keep the day job (which was killing the creativity that I value so much), I decided to get back into treatment.

Now the treatment is apparently ALSO killing my creativity and making me incredibly bored.

My short-term disability ends in two weeks and I'm supposed to report back to the day job.

As slowly as the days are dragging by now, I can't imagine how bored I will be at the day job.

Will I be a better employee? Who knows. I guess the best worker bees are bored out of their minds and don't realize there is something better out there.

But I do remember a little bit of what I was like back in the early 1990s when I was on lithium. I remember that I can't remember a lot of my life. I remember being zombie-like when my son was really small.

What do you do when so much of what makes me "me" is being taken away by the drugs?