Well if you have done ECT and all kinds of meds, I would suggest finding a good therapist and trying alternative treatments. DO NOT EVER NEVER EVER EVER STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS WITHOUT BEING WEANED OFF BY YOUR DOCTOR. But 9/10 alternative therapies you can research dont require you to be med free. Really if you are honestly hopeless with your meds and the ETC didn't help you, why wait for them to finally work randomly. Try CBT programs, try self help books, there are a million things out there. Heres the hardest part, if there were literally a million things you could try, ide say about 50 of them would work lol. But hey you say you collapse, try some internet stuff or books that you can do while collapsed on the bed or couch. As for your meds, I was on lexapro and wellbutrin awhile ago, Lexapro was mildly effective but also mild in side effects and easy to come off of. Wellbutrin I took for 2 days and never gave it a fair chance but its known for being one of the better meds out there when you compare effectiveness to side effects etc. And btw saying you are nothing and a nobody is good ole depression talking . Nobody is a nobody, and if you are a mom and a wife and a human being, you are quite a bit more than a nothing!