I get what you mean about not cutting off the family ties to those who did not hurt you. I did seek therapy but can't really see it going anywhere. I did manage to overcome some issues with my ex seeing my kids. I still worrry he will turn them against me because he made me feel most of the issues we had were my fault. Sometimes I fall into his trap and doubt myself and that causes me to be insecure and beg my kids to not leave me. However lately I have realized this is what gives him and my family power over my self esteme. I realize if they try to pit another against me and I react it makes it easier for them to justify that I am abnormal. So I am trying to not react. I want to so bad but it is funny even my kids remind me that I don't have to. I guess I am paranoid that what they say is true but I am learning it isn't. So with or without a counselor I just have to remember I am only as confident as I believe I am. No one can make me feel bad, I am just letting them. I have to be the one to be okay no matter what they say or do.