Phoenix

Hello, I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I do understand what you are going through. Have you considered getting into counseling? I too was abused as a child repededly then also again two years ago I was raped. I am still trying to deal with the rape, but I am in counseling and I believe it does help a bit. The flashbacks can be horrid. I know how horrible you feel. Also with counseling you would be getting more human contact and a counselor can be a trusted friend in my case. I know things like this can be so hard to talk about with another person but it can be so freeing if you actually get to the point that you can talk sbout it.
I also get the being alone all day, I am here from 6am to 4pm by myself and I have a dog and a cat but no social interaction with people. I get online and thats about the extent of my interaction with real people. I text a few friends and family members but I dont see people very often and its not healthy. This is something we both need to work on. If you ever need to talk PM me. Hope you have a better day.