Welcome...I know the feeling well...If it wasn't the depression, it was the anxiety...it's less intense now, but still there. I avoided medication and therapy because I thought, being a mental health professional, that I could heal myself. But after years of avoiding both, I started medication and therapy. I did not, and have not, gotten "better", but I am on my way to being "well" (in my opinion). I found some things to grab onto for "hope" and as the medication and therapy began to take effect, the "hopelessness" has diminished. Don't get me wrong, it comes up at times...I just rely on support to get me out of that rut. By the way, I'm in my late 40's (well on my way to 50)...