((((tmarie)))) aw gee, please get help from a counselor. It's your depression etc that is making you feel this way, and making you blow what ppl would think of you out of proportion! Counselors know how to help, these feelings of anxiety and depression are normal for those disorders...

talking with someone, and if needed for a while, some meds can make all this bearable. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your boyfriend...before you lose someone who sounds like a good guy! Other ppl can only "take" so much, and their self defenses kick in...

Can't you stay somewhat anonymous on the website of the counselors? Ah, doesn't matter... where you are at isn't your fault, there's no blame here, you haven't done something wrong to be feeling this way: take control and go ask for help! There's a life out there for you to live, time's a wastin'

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>