When I'm telling himself difficult/shameful... I cannot look at him... but when I'm done and he's talking... I do look at him and I glad I do cause its comforting that he isn't shocked or appauled...

Sometimes he will look at me so intensely when he is telling me something he really wants me to hear (alot of time its positive stuff)... and I look right into his eyes but I have my wall up so high its not like I can "see" him... I wish that would change...