Dan, I was actually asking it you thought it was possible to be a good person and still find happiness. Because it sounded like you thought maybe it wasn't. It sounded like you thought that having happiness meant to quite caring about anyone or anything, being an "all in it for myself only" Kind of thing. I was just saying that I thought people can still achieve happiness and still care about the world and the people and problems in it.

I can agree with you that hope can sometimes cause pain. And that caring is hope. I am very afraid tho, to live in a world with no hope and no caring. Hope isn't black and white tho for me. But I can understand where you are coming from also.

Your are not a freak. You sound like you are tired, and hurt, and rightfully so.

I don't really have friends in real life either. I am on disability, I have suffered greatly from behavioral problems, social problems, cognitive problems ect. all very much because of bipolar. To the point of even been held in a jail cell. My only point is that you are not a freak, you are quite understood here, I think a lot of us can relate. Even if we might appear to be very different sometimes to the eye.

I don't think Bipolar is just a mood thing, I have said in other threads that I don't like the term "mood disorder" because it does not encompass all that Bipolar is. It implies it is just mood thing, we all know that isn't the case.