I thought I was an imposter. I thought my teachers at university would figure out that I was stupid despite my good grades. Dr Ackerly managed to convince me that I'm worthy of continued existence and helped me to kind of like myself. However, he couldn't get as far as he probably wanted to. I found it puzzling that he wanted to change something that had always been there-my low self-esteem. I still act incompetent at work at times. One supervisor lectures me about being too hard on myself. T keeps reminding me to focus on the positive. It's amazing how much we do right at school, work and at home. As for socializing, I have admitted to T that I just don't do that.
I think people shouldn't judge others due to low self-esteem. However, it is hard to not think that if so and so doesn't trust themselves how can I? After get to know me, they realize that it is just my thinking quirk an not a statement on my ability. But, the customers/callers don't know me so they don't take me seriously. I had a photo tech call and ask for the person in charge of photo. I stated that the person who called him was on break. He ask if they was another "operator." I said something to the effect that I know how to run the machine. Then I saw the origingal person that called him and handed him off to her. I don't think he was going to take me seriously unless I call myself an operator. But, I think of myself as a cashier who knows how to run photo. We don't have operator as a title. So, I sounded like an incompetent fool as usual.