Man that's a hell of a lot of things to carry around all alone;

the things that happen to us as kids don't just leave us as we get older; if as a kid, your world was chaotic, unstable, violent...then these are the situations you will keep running into...because its familiar.

If you can find a competent psychologist that might ease some of the confusion about where you're going wrong in your relationships, where other people are trespassing you and how to take care of yourself...its very difficult to know how to take care of yourself if you've never experienced care..and you have sooo much to be angry about.

I sure hope in the meantime you keep posting and looking for support. Support is essential when you're low;

take care,
-obj