I hear what you are saying. But I ask you this... is mania bad?

I'm on two meds just because of the hypo and one for the depression and anxiety... so wouldn't it mean that mania is bad? So when I feel it, how can I possibly just enjoy it knowing that what I am feeling is bad!!!??? It takes a lot of ignorance for me to feel good anymore while i am manic! I don't have ANY self esteem when I am depressed and when I am level... ha! When I am level and symptom free, not cycling, or anything, then I just don't know what I am supposed to be or who for that matter.

So yes, self esteem for me takes a lot of ignorance, cuz when I feel it, it's cuz of something bad.