Thank you, Mary Alice and Dave.

Mary Alice had a good point. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and learned well the "caretaker" role. I am always putting other people before myself.

I would love to tell them all off and not go, but I'm not sure I'm capable of that. You wouldn't believe the heat I get for never going to family get-togethers. I don't go because all they do is stress me out. But every now and then I feel obligated to make an appearance. I don't have the courage yet to tell them all just to leave me alone, yet I don't have the emotional strength to handle seeing them. It sounds really easy to stand up for myself, but that's been a lifelong inability for me. Meanwhile, the anxiety gets worse and worse.

I frustrate myself because I wonder when I am ever going to learn to get beyond this. I'm on my 6th year in therapy and it's still an issue. I feel like the world's dumbest person ever.

Candy

There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed. -- Peter Sellers