My dad committed suicide when I was 17, it seemed almost impossible to me at first, and I was likely in shock when the police came to my school and told me about it. I don't think I was emotionally upset that he was dead as much as I was responding to the emotions around me and all the sudden life changes (i.e. house being repossessed).

It didn't take too long for me to forget him altogether and move on from his death. In fact, in the few months after his death I was actually really happy, thinking it was a new beginning for me.

Afterwards I began to felt resentful towards him because his act of suicide cost us so much, and even now we're still struggling to survive.

But it is better he is dead.