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Nammu · Sep 05, 2012, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whimsygirl

Oh sidestepper I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this stupidness (don't know if that's really a word, but maybe I just feel like it should be). I will be counting down the days with you, and sending prayers in the meantime ~whimsy

Don't have to deal with it any more. Kept getting weird answerers from staff all day. My main case worker therapist whispers to me after the last group (an graduation for one of those who are out of touch!) that he found a place I can go for resource help, you know all the stuff they where suposed to help me with-transportation, fixing the car, just surviving with out money? I ask how am I supposed to get there? Someone asks if I'm ready for IOP? No one has told me anything, suddenly I'm suposed to go to IOP and if I want they will pick me up but then what, how am I supposed to get home? They never found a Pdoc either, when I started I was reassured, no problem, you don't worry any more--leave that to us--right!. I'm so confused by the half truths and misdirection going on when the staff speaks to me, so I asked my case worker directly "Will I be here tomorrow?" My case worker says I have two more days-everyone else is like no. So I'm back to zero. At home with nothing-no meds, no pdoc, no financial help, zip--gee couldn't feel better about myself.

Since the second day of the medication, I've been more depressed and crying all the time and now no temporary Pdoc to ask about it-so I'm just stopping the meds. All this starts happening after lunch-the nurse lets it slip out that my case was discussed that morning-so didn't they think that someone should sit down with ME and tell me straight to my face what was going on? I really really hate so called therapy places that can't get it together and then out right lie to me. What two more days?? Why not write these things down and talk to me? Why keep talking to me all morning as if you are going to be seeing me the rest of the week? Hypocrites!

The back of my mind I don't believe them, that my insurance is behind it all. I think its because I stuck a Disability Rights investigations on to the hospital for their violations and this program is run by the hospital. They don't want me around because of what I said yesterday about the complete lack of real care and supervision for the folks who are out of touch with reality. I said they needed their own program and today none of them were at the program-there were very few people actually and I'm suddenly "let go" Without them having even done the most basic thing-found a pdoc! I called my insurance when I got home and they are confused, they are calling them tomorrow to find out why? I'm not sure I want to go back-just find me a decent pdoc.

Every time I think I might be getting somewhere and getting some real help, even if it's hard---I'm hit in the face with just how much reality doesn't want me around, or at least certainly not to be content. I've given up on happy, but I would like to be content.