I am hoping that this site will offer me some help and support. I have had chemical depression for many years. I am now 35 years old, married,mother to 5 kids under 9 years old.

I am really struggling lately and feeling more and more like the down dips are getting lower and lower. I feel such guilt for what my kids must have in me as a mother. I know I am a good mother in many ways, but I am surely not what I want to be. I often wonder if they love me because everyone loves their parents even if they are really messed up. I sure did with my parents. I feel like I can't love everyone the way they deserve to be loved and I feel like a burdon to family and friends since I can't seem to just function day to day like everyone else seems to without a breakdown. I am taking my meds, but amstarting to wonder if I need something different.

I never get out of my house for anything much but stuff for the home and kids. I always have themwith me. I have no money for therapy and tons of medical bills for my kids to resolve. There is so much to list as things that are sparking my depression. I am not sure at this point how to deal with all of it. My husband doesn't really "get" depression and how it works. I feel quite alone. Can anyone relate, help????