Ladytiger, I am so sorry all this happened to you. I can relate. I was raped by an older BF for 9 mo. Every weekend and some durring the week if he needed "a fix." I didn't realize it was rape until 20 + years later (recently) I thought since I didn't make him go away and I allowed him to continue it was not rape. This guy had a huge **** and big fingers to. I still have issues w/ wanting or in my case not wanting sex.

OBGYN visits are tough. Painful. Who uses a brush in there or a q-tip. Ouch. Therapy is starting to help. I started trauma work but had to quit via request from my T. The affects were to not safe for me at this time. The flee or freeze thing all new terms until I started T. This has caused huge issues for my H and me. We do not get along and he is controlling. We are almost ready to separate but before we do, anything that I can fix that may be a contribution of mine towards the problem, I want to take care of now.

Your OBGYN may be right. It is sounds like a trauma responce to me. But I'm not qualified to make that call. I understand your frustration w/ insurance. They should know the medical field a little better. There knowledge of things sucks.

I know I have not really offered you any suggestions or much help. It helps me to know I'm not alone in this. That is all I can offer you. Understanding. This is also a great place to vent. Everyone here is super friendly. I hope to see you around here again soon.