I have read your thread cusack. I too am waiting on a list to do something. I have waited for months and still waiting.

Some parents can be very mean. Loosing face is a big deal where you live. But you are a special person. Do you like plants? If you do then maybe you could find a garden someplace and see if you could help out there for free?
Maybe you might know some-one who likes to bonsai plants. Try to find some-one who does it. It might bring you peace. Gardens are very peaceful and may help to settle your mind.

Keeping fish might also be nice.

Your friend may not want others to know where he is either so he may not wish to talk to others about it either. If he is a friend could you ask him not to tell?

Also my name refers to a furry animal that lives in trees. (some countries think it means something else)