My brother died from suicide in july ( well either he pulled the trigger or our mom did we'll never really know), but I understand how hard it is to process. We have to accept the unacceptable or live with the unlivable. I feel like the walking dead, but I can honor my
brother by taking care of myself and everyday I still come alive for little moments of joy. Eventually, maybe, I won't be so dead inside. I think it takes time.

I'm sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I'm sorry she was in such pain. May angels surround you and comfort you, and i'm certain she is at peace now.