Yes, you are still assuming what her actions mean. And I agree, I'm having a hard time understanding you too so there must be a lot of miscommunication.

This is something else I have learned, that misunderstanding is so incredibly common. On another thread here I wasn't understood several times. I made a statement and several people thought I meant something else. I had to keep clarifying what I meant. This happens because everyone is different with their experiences and perception. I can say a sentence and it will mean different things to different people depending upon their experiences and perception.

Also, in therapy transference and projection are incredibly common. A client projects their experiences onto the therapist.