I do struggle with an inner part that tells me that it doesn't matter what's going on with me-- that I shouldn't take up such nice people's time and attention. And as I've heard all my growing up years--"Deal with it". ---- I'm trying to ignore all that!

It is interesting about this problem possibly being an addiction.... and thanks also for the link-- I hadn't read that one yet.

Yea, if we had a good relationship I could see considering an intervention..... but......knowing how things are between us..... I don't see an intervention happening.

I've been thinking with the help of these posts and some very kind PM's that it would be best if I just let things happen--- I think that might be the road with less anguish and stress.
I can't be HER mother forever-- in fact I'm tired of it--- I have my own children to mother.

I'm trying little by little to distance myself and have decided to take another step in the distance-- *gulp*-- here goes!-- this is so scary!!! Guess-- giving up on the dream of having a "real" mother-- something that I've ached for, imagined and thought I could have........ letting that go........ it hurts....... I see now that I have to do this in order for me to get out of this circle I go round and round in......

Odd how it feels I'm stepping from the fog--- into the darkness--- if it's like this for others, no wonder some would rather put up with things than take that step

Thanks LMo, your support means a lot to me.

mandy