This past week has been the most eye opening one of my life.

My self esteem wasn't at a low, but it still needed some work.

Know what that work involved?

Acting as if I *was* completely self assured and taking risks. Risked putting the real me on a dating site, not sugar coating, not listing false hopes and expectations that came across as mainstream, because that would only attract the wrong person. I'm not mainstream. To pretend to be otherwise is cheating myself.

Risking being assertive and contacting someone who, to me, looked like he was someone who would be in high demand and not have the time of day for me, possibly having to deal with rejection. Boy, was I wrong.

Risking putting everything on the table, saying what I want and risking hearing he didn't want the same thing. Turns out we want the same things.

Risking telling him about some of my unusual qualities and finding out that he understands and actually picks up on the not so subtle vibrations that resonate from within me.

I finally decided to believe in myself the way I want others to believe in me.