wi_fighter, very true. we never know what the impact of our actions will be. we only can recognize that or current rut sucks and we want out. why is letting go of crud so hard. ??

fog is familiar? blackness is unknown? What dows it take to prod us to make the leap of faith necessary to fly to a new, healthier perch? For me, being at my wits end, having tried everything I can think of and failed to "get through" to whomever, will eventually force me into the new tact: let go.

We can't change or fix anybody but ourselves. IMO it's time for you to take care of you. If she gets popped it will be her first "gotcha" right? I would imagine that at her age and with her actions being the result of a mental condition, the courts would be very unlikely to lock her up. (There are too many elderly incarcerated already, they cost money in health care.)

Take care. I'm sorry you weren't moothered by your mother. It's hard to find a path to fill that hole. I wish you courage and insight and a safe journey. You got yer work cut out for ya, but, you can do it!