I think just stay away from penetration for now, until you're ready. And don't let him go down on you if it hurts. Guys don't really always know how to do that right, and they are too rough or scratchy, or press too hard with their tongue pointed right on the clitoris. idk maybe i have specific preference. But I tell them to make their tongue flat and lightly press it on clitoris, then slowly move to massage the area, like rocking it with constant light pressure, then I can move and lift my hips however feels good, controlling the motion and speed and pressure. Just tell him no fingers inside, until you're ready. Also you could masturbate together. You'd have control of you, and feel safe, and he can feast his eyes and do the same. You really have to take care of yourself and your health and sanity, if a relationship is ruined because of lack of sex while you are having this disorder, then I think it's not a good relationship for you. Please dont put his needs before yours. I think others in your past who were supposed to protect you and take care of you didnt do that. So now it's up to you to have safe healthy boundary around yourself and being clear on your values, what's ok with you and what's not ok. And notice if bf truly respects you and your health and values. Hopefully he just got mad that time because he went on the defensive, confused, like what I'd never hurt a woman...