Thanks again...I can tell though, Im not going to last...Im going to give in again. I know it. Its all I can do just to make it. Im sorry. I know this is the same thing and I guess I need to be able to accept that its all or nothing with me. I hate nothing and feel guilty about all. I was suppose to see him tonight and my engines started. Then I didn't have my "stuff" so I couldn't go. But if i had...I don't know why this can't be ok with me. Most people do it with lots of people. Im actually seeing two men. One I haven't even kissed...wow...but im not sure it will last, great personality but not irresistable. Im just thinking out loud here. Sometimes when I start writing everything im thinking comes out. I do hear you with seeing a counselor and if it was fesible I would. Life is just too busy. I don't get home until around seven or later and leave about six thirty in the morning. When i get a few minutes I go to the gym and that does help. I would be there now, but the rain is so bad I couldn't see to drive. Ok I know this is just a bunch of excuses. Well, guess Im signing off until the next crisis..hope its not something even worse...yikes...Wouldn't it be great to look into the future and know how it all turns out? Will I be a full blown slut or turn nun? I just don't know..My boundaries don't seem to matter much, so the only way to prevent anything is not to date, but I love to be wanted. Stupid emotions...
Just wish I was married so I could have all I wanted....