I would get into therapy if I were you, and try to understand why you feel compelled to stay with a person whose values are so different from yours. You never really discussed them, you just assumed they were the same, then one day you found out, and now you're devastated. What else don't you two talk about? And you don't seem to be able to appreciate him as a separate person, but just as an extension of yourself, which makes me wonder if that's how you were raised? Cos that's how I was raised, and it left me blind to my partners' realities. I simply did not see what I didn't want to see.