Hey "Snuggle", have you tried a crisis hotline? There are ways to find a counselor for free. Maybe for only a couple of sessions, but it will get you started. Seriously, do some research, ask your parents to call around and also your school counselor. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF. I hate to see you struggling and you need to get help before it gets bad. You really don't want it to get worse.