I think I know what I meant now?

I want to care about things...new things, or even the same things but in a completely new and different way.

I don't think I ever knew how to care but stressing I can do!

like....just a basic one: i care about the landlords inspection for my flat and I know I will make sure it's all up to scratch. ...but for days and days I stress about it and then I feel like just trashing the place and going to live with the animals!

the stress I add to caring makes me dysfunctional...this I don't want anymore. it's not about giving up, I woulda' done that already