hillbunnyb,

Thanks for your reply. You know... I think this is where I'm at... </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
at my wits end, having tried everything I can think of and failed to "get through" to whomever, will eventually force me into the new tact: let go.

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I've tried so hard-- everything I could think..... I thought if I can't get my mom to love me then I can't expect anyone to --- but now I see I have to let the "mom" part go. It's not going to happen. And if she does get caught... I shouldn't feel guilty.... it's not my fault . (I think I need to hear that everyday for a long time!! )

I agree, "we can't change or fix anybody but ourselves". And yes, that "fog" is familar no matter how upsetting it is-- it's something I KNOW and can depend on (can you imagine-- depending on being hurt? that seems odd now that I think about it-- what's that saying "bad attention is better than no attention"-- or something like that)--and yes, the "blackness" is unknown and the unknown can be so frightening.

Thanks for your supportive words-- I appreciate it very much.

mandy