mandy as I see it we are twins lol...we could be sisters...at least good friends that have our mothers in common. I hate you are going thru some of the same stuff. yes it hurts deeply. mostly I try not to "go there" . I am a long way from being over it I guess but most of the time I am able to just think that she is the one that lost out. I have no guilt though and for that I am greatful.