Do you ever get a break? That was one of the things that kept me down for so long. My oldest recently turned 12, and now I can go places without dragging all the kids along! That probably made more of a difference for me than anything else. You probably feel alone even though you never get any time by yourself because you always have to take care of the kids! But it keeps you isolated. Making friends through the internet made a difference for me too.

Is there any way you could tell your husband that you need to have a night off at least once a week? Or some time during the day? Do you have a friend or relative who would take the kids for you on a regular schedule for like one day a week or even just a couple of hours? Could you arrange to trade with another mom - you watch her kids one day and she watch yours another day, so you both get an errand day? I used to fantasize about just having an hour alone in my own house with no kids, just so that I could catch my breath.

What would you do with that time? Now that I can get out, I go for walks, go shopping and run errands by myself, and have been taking some classes. When my kids were little and I was overwhelmed I used to get up at night when the house was quiet and take a bubble bath, often at 3 a.m.

Another thing you could look into is free or sliding scale based therapy. There are community agencies that may provide it for you. Try DCFS - they are often willing to help parents who are struggling, and would rather hear from a mom who wants to be a better parent and really is not doing such a bad job (and give you some support!) than wait until you can't cope and some problem develops (not that you would do anything that would harm your kids, but depression is frequently a factor behind abuse and neglect). Or vocational rehabilitation - homemaking is a vocation too and depression is a disabling condition that makes you less effective at doing your job. And there are community counseling centers that provide therapy at a very reasonable cost. Meds might make it easier to cope, but they don't make the problem go away. Therapy gives you the means to work through it and really be able to recover. And it is also a chance to talk to someone at an adult level without having to deal with the kids. Lots of people who say they can't afford therapy don't know what options there are that could make it accessible.

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<font color=orange>There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible, and wrong.

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